A few minutes after reaching CL we were given the exercise sheets and told to start solving them. We continued till 10:30 am when we were told that the faculty who was supposed to teach us today met with an accident. We were asked to leave. The in-charge was apologetic about the cancellation of the class. I felt there was no necessity for them to apologize; there was a problem which was reasonable.
Yesterday since afternoon itself I wasn't feeling like attending the evening class. I didn't go. I was at my grandmother's house and reached home at 9:30 pm. My father had been to Mt. Opera as picnic with his school students and he came late and pick me late from there. He said he enjoyed. Even my cousins went with them. I couldn't as I had college to attend. My brother had his exam.
Late in the evening I began to feel some pain in my legs. I had some fever that was making me weak. Even a couple of days back I felt the same and I had taken some medicine. Yesterday I took nothing and was fine till the time I went to sleep - at 3 am.
In the college I submitted a lab assignment for which I had spent a good amount of time on Friday evening. The lecturer was not at all happy with what we people have done. We submitted programs done not by us but by somebody else. But we had to do such a thing. It was not at all possible for each of us to do our separate programs. So a few of my friends compiled programs taking them from other students who have done them and we took printouts at our houses. We couldn't satisfy the lecturer. In fact he can never be satisfied!
After coming home from CL I slept for a few hours. It was necessary for me to complete the sleep. I woke up at 3 pm and my uncle was here to visit us. We had lunch together. Later he had to do some work on the internet and take some prints. He lefts sometime back. He gave me a login ID and password of www.stc.com.sa from where I can send SMS to any cellphone anywhere free of cost. This service is for those who live in Saudi Arabia and use some telecom services of that particular company.
Today as the class was left early, I got to talk a little with 2 of my friends at CL for sometime. One of them is from my college itself and he plans to write GRE this August. The other person has already booked a slot in June. They said they want to keep their options open. I somehow don't understand what these people are doing! I feel many write GRE just because they see their friends writing it. They go for some coaching, spend time in studying, buy material ... create a hype ... I don't know the climax. I didn't get why a person spending 15,500 Rupees for just getting prepared to write CAT has to spend another 7,000 to write GRE.
Having too many options is worse than having too few options. Too much freedom cripples, it never gives room for accomplishments. Having just CAT in mind helps crack test like XAT, SNAP, MAT and even GMAT. There are already so many options here in this stream. A person spending time and money for CAT should first decided what he wants to do - an MBA or an MS. If he is confused, then he is creating a potential space for a disaster.
It is not just here but in every point in life that I feel too many options are bad. Thy not only create confusion in the later and final stages of decision - making, but also make us weak in what ever we are doing presently. Investing energy - both mental and physical - is like paying something in advance. If we do not know what we are paying for, then how can we know what to expect in return? It is simple logic - decide what you want, or let others decide!
Then there is one thing more that irks me a lot. People doing things after they see their friends doing it. Once in one of my blogs wrote "people do not know what they want unless they see it" and also "people do not know what they want and YOU can decide things for them". This leaves a hole in a persons character that can provide others with a chance to manipulate them for their personal use. I understand I am talking about something that people hardly think of - manipulating their friends. But what if they think?
People don't want to be alone when they seek out or something new. When they fail, they want somebody with them who has suffered the same too. Average people like mediocrity around them. They resist changes and resist anything above their level. They see yet refuse the truth. They understand but deny any knowledge. They pretend. People like to have people around them who would tell them that it is human to see failure and remind them of the famous quotes told in support of failure.
Something never change and other things refuse to stop changing. I have been experiencing this pretty closely for the last few weeks. It has caused to make a lot of difference to me and I understand it is going to continue with me as long as I am alive. People change, their lives change and we are forced to change - change our views, priorities, fundamental beliefs, standards and sometimes everything.
I have been meeting my aunt - my mother's youngest sister - for all my life at least once in 10 days. The age difference between us is 8 years and I have cousins from my father's side who she larger age differences. So, in a way my aunt was like an elder sister to me. She is in Mecca now and will come here only in 2008 when I am not sure of being here. She had been to Mecca before but it was just for a month and she was back.
My grandmother's house is all silent now. Even my grandfather has left us forever. my Uncle's children are there but they are very calm and hardly make their presence felt. My grandmother is very depressed and she will take some time to get used to the idea of not having her husband around and living away from her daughter who was with her for 28 years now. Even I have to get used to many things. I will take more time than her.
I have tried to forge some new bonds and failed miserably. But Allah has been too kind toward me and He obliged with me several new people who have become highly imperative for my happy being. He has also brought me closer to ones who were already there in my life, but were just there. They all have become an integral part of me. Then 'bond' never gets any substance. It's become an infinite wait. I feed myself on hope.
But as I have mentioned above, change is constant. And it never ceases to be constant. All of the present will change too. People will change, time will take them along giving them new heights and happinesses, and in turn, I will be made to change. The moment I resist anything, I will be conflicting with the laws of nature and this time, it can turn tragic for me.
So, now as I sit here and type all this without even checking what I am typing - grammar, spellings - but just reflecting on what my mind is presenting my hands with, I rely on what change I am going to resist. Perhaps this will look like an antithesis to the philosophy (or whatever it can be termed as) I have written above, but the changes I am going to resist will decide where I will go and where this road will take me to.
These resisted changes will be the possible threats to me - things that can harm me and let other unknown aspects to cause to harm me. These will be the negative traits in me and I am supposed to be aware of them. I rely on my weaknesses to let me know where I have to pause and where I have to stop. Strengths will give the movement and also the momentum. Weaknesses can wait. I have to make my strengths work for me. Hehehe ... the question is "when and how?" - the tragedy!
Sunday, February 4, 2007
Friday, February 2, 2007
I better kill myself than do that
Yesterday, somehow I forgot to write an update and it was too late int he night (morning) when it struck me. I didn't take the efforts to beat the sleep. I slept around 3 am and woke up at 7:30 am. I was 2 minutes late to the class! Thanks to the bus that I reached soon even after starting very late from home.
Yesterday in the networks lab I literally did nothing except helping my neighbor-friend do some programs. We have been assigned with specific computer systems and this prevents from sitting next to any person who could potentially help us do the programs we are not able to do by ourselves. Maybe our sir thinks that he is doing a wonderful job this way, but I must say 'he is wrong'. Nothing is helping us!
In the afternoon I didn't attend the class. We had a test and I had to go to my grandmother's house. As scheduled, my aunt left today morning and alhamdulillah she has reached Jidda. We expect her to call again once she reaches Mecca.
The morning session in the college was just Computer Networks - from 9:15 am to 12:10 pm. I was very sleepy all through and hardly concentrated on anything. But I could managing staying awake. I reached home after 3 pm with a friend and he was with me till 6:15 pm. Along with him I also searched for some shop near my house that could refill my printer's cartridge. I didn't know it would be so easy for me. I later took the printouts for Computer Networks lab.
Yesterday late in the evening I had a long chat with my cousin. She lives in Austin and since long I had been wanting to tell her a few things which I told her yesterday. It is always wonderful to know that there is a person ready to listen to you and advice you on something you are always critical of. I was glad to she took time not only to listen to what all I had to say but also to understand what I actually meant. I am glad to have her with me.
While I was chatting with my sister, I got a call on my phone. It was a new number and I received it the way I always do. The person on the other side first confirmed with me if I was Zubair. Then from a courteous accent he became rude. He told me that was teasing some girl int he college. (I don't have a dog whose name is 'bingo'!!!) I asked "Oh! Really?" He continued and said that I was teasing his sister. While listening that itself I started wondering if by any mistake I committed that sin. I couldn't remember anything.
He said that he knows me, that I am from Muffakham Jah College and from 3rd year. I immediately told him that I would like him to come to me personally and talk. He threatened that he would be coming to my college the next day. I said I will be waiting to meet him. And I disconnected the call.
This call came when I was in the most serious mood of chatting. I was talking something with my sister and I could hardly understand what was going on. I thought I was always prepared for such calls - yes I am. I once drew all the picture in my mind and decided how I would be reacting to such a call. I did exactly the way I had thought.
After disconnecting the call I was considering calling my cousin from Deccan college. I also analyzed that if I tell about this to my father, he would straight away think of going to a police station! I didn't think what that person would be doing next - if he would really come or not! If he rally meant to threaten me or was there something else he wanted.
I wasn't afraid of meeting him. I was afraid of things I haven't done and things this guy could do to me. I was afraid of a possible fight. I was afraid that I would face something for doing nothing. I was afraid that people who don't know me would think bad about me. I was confused.
This this guy called again. I said the first words: "You were going to come tomorrow, why did you call again?" His reply was not rude now. He said he got my number from somewhere and that he was just kidding all this time. he asked me not to take anything seriously. I didn't think of asking who he was. But I am sure he knows me and he got my number from some person to whom I might have given it.
I didn't ask him who he was when he called the second time. I asked that to him in the first call. But whoever her was and even that he asked me not to take it seriously, I am sorry to say that I am very serious and he will know about that in a day or two. I have his number with him. And I know many people who can be rude if I request them to. I don't like such jokes being played on me, especially when the person is a stranger to me. And most importantly, he charged me with something I detest and would never do - I better kill myself than do that.
Yesterday in the networks lab I literally did nothing except helping my neighbor-friend do some programs. We have been assigned with specific computer systems and this prevents from sitting next to any person who could potentially help us do the programs we are not able to do by ourselves. Maybe our sir thinks that he is doing a wonderful job this way, but I must say 'he is wrong'. Nothing is helping us!
In the afternoon I didn't attend the class. We had a test and I had to go to my grandmother's house. As scheduled, my aunt left today morning and alhamdulillah she has reached Jidda. We expect her to call again once she reaches Mecca.
The morning session in the college was just Computer Networks - from 9:15 am to 12:10 pm. I was very sleepy all through and hardly concentrated on anything. But I could managing staying awake. I reached home after 3 pm with a friend and he was with me till 6:15 pm. Along with him I also searched for some shop near my house that could refill my printer's cartridge. I didn't know it would be so easy for me. I later took the printouts for Computer Networks lab.
Yesterday late in the evening I had a long chat with my cousin. She lives in Austin and since long I had been wanting to tell her a few things which I told her yesterday. It is always wonderful to know that there is a person ready to listen to you and advice you on something you are always critical of. I was glad to she took time not only to listen to what all I had to say but also to understand what I actually meant. I am glad to have her with me.
While I was chatting with my sister, I got a call on my phone. It was a new number and I received it the way I always do. The person on the other side first confirmed with me if I was Zubair. Then from a courteous accent he became rude. He told me that was teasing some girl int he college. (I don't have a dog whose name is 'bingo'!!!) I asked "Oh! Really?" He continued and said that I was teasing his sister. While listening that itself I started wondering if by any mistake I committed that sin. I couldn't remember anything.
He said that he knows me, that I am from Muffakham Jah College and from 3rd year. I immediately told him that I would like him to come to me personally and talk. He threatened that he would be coming to my college the next day. I said I will be waiting to meet him. And I disconnected the call.
This call came when I was in the most serious mood of chatting. I was talking something with my sister and I could hardly understand what was going on. I thought I was always prepared for such calls - yes I am. I once drew all the picture in my mind and decided how I would be reacting to such a call. I did exactly the way I had thought.
After disconnecting the call I was considering calling my cousin from Deccan college. I also analyzed that if I tell about this to my father, he would straight away think of going to a police station! I didn't think what that person would be doing next - if he would really come or not! If he rally meant to threaten me or was there something else he wanted.
I wasn't afraid of meeting him. I was afraid of things I haven't done and things this guy could do to me. I was afraid of a possible fight. I was afraid that I would face something for doing nothing. I was afraid that people who don't know me would think bad about me. I was confused.
This this guy called again. I said the first words: "You were going to come tomorrow, why did you call again?" His reply was not rude now. He said he got my number from somewhere and that he was just kidding all this time. he asked me not to take anything seriously. I didn't think of asking who he was. But I am sure he knows me and he got my number from some person to whom I might have given it.
I didn't ask him who he was when he called the second time. I asked that to him in the first call. But whoever her was and even that he asked me not to take it seriously, I am sorry to say that I am very serious and he will know about that in a day or two. I have his number with him. And I know many people who can be rude if I request them to. I don't like such jokes being played on me, especially when the person is a stranger to me. And most importantly, he charged me with something I detest and would never do - I better kill myself than do that.
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Fear of night and sleep... Allahuakbar
Today while in the 2nd class of the morning session I was studying maths. It was a class of Design and Analysis of Algorithms and our Professor lecturer is lenient enough to let us do what we want. He even pays no attention to the proxy attendance many students call out for their friends. I finally started studying for CAT - the quantitative section; I had already started english - and I was doing algebra today.
Yesterday night I went to sleep around 1:20 am - morning to be precise. I thought I would get sleep easily. I had a terrible night. I couldn't sleep at least till 4 am. It was completely disturbed with many silly dreams waking me up every few minutes. I was feeling some kind of fear within me and I wished there was sunlight around. I didn't wan to be on my bed in the darkness. I thought of waking up my parents but had no good reason to tell them. I was praying continuously and hoped that I fall asleep.
I was very sleepy all through the day. I jumped into the bed immediately after coming home. But now, as the time for me to go to sleep is nearing, I sense some kind of fear again. I wish I don't have to sleep. I am ready to bear the head ache I have and keep myself awake. I helpless now. I even wish I had somebody beside me, with me, to talk to me continuously and make me feel that I am not alone.
Tomorrow I have a test in the afternoon class. I sat down to study and was with the text book for more than 30 minutes. I red some definitions and nothing else. I will go through the rest in the college itself - if possible. Friday morning my aunt is leaving for Mecca and tomorrow afternoon I had to go to her house and help her with a few things. I don't know if I will be writing the test. If I am not writing, I will take the lecturer's permission.
Yesterday I tried writing a poem. I thought I could pen one with ease but didn't get anything right. I wrote around 6 to 8 lines and deleted everything. I felt they were very immature as poetic lines and very idiotic conceptually. I need to rush up a little on the fundamentals of poetry. I once searched for some material on the internet but didn't read anything. I will do it in my next favorable leisure.
Yesterday night I went to sleep around 1:20 am - morning to be precise. I thought I would get sleep easily. I had a terrible night. I couldn't sleep at least till 4 am. It was completely disturbed with many silly dreams waking me up every few minutes. I was feeling some kind of fear within me and I wished there was sunlight around. I didn't wan to be on my bed in the darkness. I thought of waking up my parents but had no good reason to tell them. I was praying continuously and hoped that I fall asleep.
I was very sleepy all through the day. I jumped into the bed immediately after coming home. But now, as the time for me to go to sleep is nearing, I sense some kind of fear again. I wish I don't have to sleep. I am ready to bear the head ache I have and keep myself awake. I helpless now. I even wish I had somebody beside me, with me, to talk to me continuously and make me feel that I am not alone.
Tomorrow I have a test in the afternoon class. I sat down to study and was with the text book for more than 30 minutes. I red some definitions and nothing else. I will go through the rest in the college itself - if possible. Friday morning my aunt is leaving for Mecca and tomorrow afternoon I had to go to her house and help her with a few things. I don't know if I will be writing the test. If I am not writing, I will take the lecturer's permission.
Yesterday I tried writing a poem. I thought I could pen one with ease but didn't get anything right. I wrote around 6 to 8 lines and deleted everything. I felt they were very immature as poetic lines and very idiotic conceptually. I need to rush up a little on the fundamentals of poetry. I once searched for some material on the internet but didn't read anything. I will do it in my next favorable leisure.
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Alhamdulillah
I got another testimonial for me. Something good was written about me again. I liked it. But I know I shouldn't get excited with anything nice I hear about me. I have a long way to go! For many things!
Today morning after waking up around 10 am I started typing the post for this blog. But even before I could finish it the connection got broke and I had to post it in the evening. So, I am here, again, to write about today!
I had initially planned to go to my uncle's house. Even my mother went there. I had decided to leave around 1 pm. But by the time I could actually get ready was 2 pm and till then my mother was back. I was wanting to get a few softwares from my uncle using a USB drive. But my brother was using it so there was no chance for me. I gave a thought to not going out and I removed my shoes and slept for 2 hours.
In the evening I studied for sometime and was back to my computer. I posted the update which I had saved in the morning and had chats with a few friends and cousins. I even cleaned my computer a little - deleted many useless files, uninstalled some software I was not using, ran the disk clean up wizard and performed a disk defragment. I did all this in the afternoon itself before getting ready!
There is a lot of talk going on at home about the beard I have presently. My parents and my brother have started to tease me now. Even my relatives have asked me if I was going to keep it. I have a simple answer. I will shave it till Friday. I have no particular reason for shaving it before this particular day, and there is no reason necessary to be written here why I didn't shave it for so long! But somehow I like my face when I look into the mirror. Nobody has commented in a positive way till now. Friday!
I was browsing the internet when I came across a blog http://topqualitiesofmenandwomen.blogspot.com/ .I found the article there interesting and good, and thought that it would be nice that I share it here on my blog. This was the lone article on that blog and I do not know who the author is.
"Top Ten Qualities of Men and Women
There are many articles available today about what is the perfect attributes to have in order for a man or a woman to adore you or be attracted to you. The following is our Top Ten List of qualities or attributes that if you or your partner have will guarantee you to have a healthy, balanced relationship as well as being an attractive person both inside and out.
1)BALANCED: Balanced can mean many things, for the purposes of our article, we mean that you or your partner has a good sense of boundaries, that that you and your partner are a whole person and have a healthy lifestyle.
More specifically, you or your partner knows how to maintain their own boundaries and respect the boundaries of their partner. They understand the difference between assertiveness and aggressiveness.
It is important that you or your partner considers themself already a whole person, that you or your partner doesn’t need someone to fill themselves up or complete them in order to be a complete person. They need to have the belief system that a partner is there to enhance and support their natural, authentic expression, but is not needed to complete who they are.
A healthy balance in their lifestyle is also important such as not working themselves too much, drinking or eating too much or doing anything in excess.
2)CONFIDENT: You or your partner are self-confident and have high self esteem. You are confident that you can handle new things, even if you have never done it before or if you may not get it right the first time around. You or your partner has an internal point of reference; you do not need to have reassurance and complements from others to be confident. At the same time you are confident enough to accept compliments or criticism, and are not afraid to give compliments to other people.
3) INDEPENDENT You can be a functional person without relying on another person and you are not codependent.
Codependency is a condition that results from dysfunctional patterns based on unhealthy relationships. These dysfunctional patterns are socially learned patterns of thinking, feeling, and acting which result in dependency on other people, places, organizations, things and events to create approval, appreciation, self worth and love to achieve a sense of safety, self esteem, purpose and identity.
4)RELATIONSHIP MASTERY SKILLS: You or your partner knows how to relate in a relationship. You or your partner know important skills like communication skills, conflict resolution and negotiation techniques.
5)EMOTIONAL OPENNESS: You and your partner are able to be emotionally open and honest, being able to express your opinions and be comfortable enough to allow and support your partner’s emotional openness as well.
6)EMPATHETIC: You or your partner need to be able to empathize with the emotions, point of view and experiences of your partner, to be able to get right into their heads and feelings without judgment or trying to fix their situation.
7)UNCONDITIONAL LOVE: You and your partner need to understand the concept of unconditional love, to be able to love you partner whether you agree with their beliefs, emotions, feelings or behaviors. To be able to transcend the conditional love paradigm, even if you are not getting what you want at the given time.
8)ON DHARMIC PATH: A person who is on their dharmic path is someone who is in bliss for a great deal of their day. What a wonderful inspiration to be with someone who is on path.
9)NON-RESISTANT TO CHANGE: You or your partner is someone who is not in resistance to change, or at the very least understands when they are in resistance to change and allows themselves to go through the stages of adapting to change without resisting the process. You or your partner would need to understand and accept that change is a natural part of life.
10)SENSE OF HUMOUR: When the going gets tough, the tough start laughing. Do you ever find that when you make light of a difficult situation is a lot easier to get through? Well, having a partner who can make light of a situation (of course while still empathizing with your situation) is much easier on you than a partner who freaks out whenever something happens. Laughter brings gentle strength and renews your focus so you can be open to new ways of dealing with the situation.
Compatibility and knowing what are your wants, needs and requirements are all vital to finding your highest and best relationship. The list above, although depending upon your level of consciousness may seem a little out of reach. However, regardless of your personality and what you are seeking in a partner and what your partner is seeking in you, the list above are fail safe attributes that are universal to everyone that are within everyone’s reach and will guarantee a healthy relationship that sets the stage for both stability and expansion."
Today morning after waking up around 10 am I started typing the post for this blog. But even before I could finish it the connection got broke and I had to post it in the evening. So, I am here, again, to write about today!
I had initially planned to go to my uncle's house. Even my mother went there. I had decided to leave around 1 pm. But by the time I could actually get ready was 2 pm and till then my mother was back. I was wanting to get a few softwares from my uncle using a USB drive. But my brother was using it so there was no chance for me. I gave a thought to not going out and I removed my shoes and slept for 2 hours.
In the evening I studied for sometime and was back to my computer. I posted the update which I had saved in the morning and had chats with a few friends and cousins. I even cleaned my computer a little - deleted many useless files, uninstalled some software I was not using, ran the disk clean up wizard and performed a disk defragment. I did all this in the afternoon itself before getting ready!
There is a lot of talk going on at home about the beard I have presently. My parents and my brother have started to tease me now. Even my relatives have asked me if I was going to keep it. I have a simple answer. I will shave it till Friday. I have no particular reason for shaving it before this particular day, and there is no reason necessary to be written here why I didn't shave it for so long! But somehow I like my face when I look into the mirror. Nobody has commented in a positive way till now. Friday!
I was browsing the internet when I came across a blog http://topqualitiesofmenandwomen.blogspot.com/ .I found the article there interesting and good, and thought that it would be nice that I share it here on my blog. This was the lone article on that blog and I do not know who the author is.
************************
"Top Ten Qualities of Men and Women
There are many articles available today about what is the perfect attributes to have in order for a man or a woman to adore you or be attracted to you. The following is our Top Ten List of qualities or attributes that if you or your partner have will guarantee you to have a healthy, balanced relationship as well as being an attractive person both inside and out.
1)BALANCED: Balanced can mean many things, for the purposes of our article, we mean that you or your partner has a good sense of boundaries, that that you and your partner are a whole person and have a healthy lifestyle.
More specifically, you or your partner knows how to maintain their own boundaries and respect the boundaries of their partner. They understand the difference between assertiveness and aggressiveness.
It is important that you or your partner considers themself already a whole person, that you or your partner doesn’t need someone to fill themselves up or complete them in order to be a complete person. They need to have the belief system that a partner is there to enhance and support their natural, authentic expression, but is not needed to complete who they are.
A healthy balance in their lifestyle is also important such as not working themselves too much, drinking or eating too much or doing anything in excess.
2)CONFIDENT: You or your partner are self-confident and have high self esteem. You are confident that you can handle new things, even if you have never done it before or if you may not get it right the first time around. You or your partner has an internal point of reference; you do not need to have reassurance and complements from others to be confident. At the same time you are confident enough to accept compliments or criticism, and are not afraid to give compliments to other people.
3) INDEPENDENT You can be a functional person without relying on another person and you are not codependent.
Codependency is a condition that results from dysfunctional patterns based on unhealthy relationships. These dysfunctional patterns are socially learned patterns of thinking, feeling, and acting which result in dependency on other people, places, organizations, things and events to create approval, appreciation, self worth and love to achieve a sense of safety, self esteem, purpose and identity.
4)RELATIONSHIP MASTERY SKILLS: You or your partner knows how to relate in a relationship. You or your partner know important skills like communication skills, conflict resolution and negotiation techniques.
5)EMOTIONAL OPENNESS: You and your partner are able to be emotionally open and honest, being able to express your opinions and be comfortable enough to allow and support your partner’s emotional openness as well.
6)EMPATHETIC: You or your partner need to be able to empathize with the emotions, point of view and experiences of your partner, to be able to get right into their heads and feelings without judgment or trying to fix their situation.
7)UNCONDITIONAL LOVE: You and your partner need to understand the concept of unconditional love, to be able to love you partner whether you agree with their beliefs, emotions, feelings or behaviors. To be able to transcend the conditional love paradigm, even if you are not getting what you want at the given time.
8)ON DHARMIC PATH: A person who is on their dharmic path is someone who is in bliss for a great deal of their day. What a wonderful inspiration to be with someone who is on path.
9)NON-RESISTANT TO CHANGE: You or your partner is someone who is not in resistance to change, or at the very least understands when they are in resistance to change and allows themselves to go through the stages of adapting to change without resisting the process. You or your partner would need to understand and accept that change is a natural part of life.
10)SENSE OF HUMOUR: When the going gets tough, the tough start laughing. Do you ever find that when you make light of a difficult situation is a lot easier to get through? Well, having a partner who can make light of a situation (of course while still empathizing with your situation) is much easier on you than a partner who freaks out whenever something happens. Laughter brings gentle strength and renews your focus so you can be open to new ways of dealing with the situation.
Compatibility and knowing what are your wants, needs and requirements are all vital to finding your highest and best relationship. The list above, although depending upon your level of consciousness may seem a little out of reach. However, regardless of your personality and what you are seeking in a partner and what your partner is seeking in you, the list above are fail safe attributes that are universal to everyone that are within everyone’s reach and will guarantee a healthy relationship that sets the stage for both stability and expansion."
************************
Now a days my parents are hooked to a channel, Peace TV. Alhamdulillah they have reduced the viewing of silly television programs they used to watch. Peace TV is owned by IRF, an organization headed by Dr. Zakir Naik. Islamic Research Foundation mostly concentrates on comparative religion and also on Dawah work. In this channel they telecast programs in which various Muslim scholars speak. Apart from Dr. Zakir Naik, there are scholars from many parts of the world including US and far east. The channel is wonderful and precise.
Though I am not watching it regularly, the sound from the TV is always heard even when I am in the living room in front of my computer. Sometimes I do sit with my father and watch; dinner is accompanied by some TV. The talks of Dr. Zakir Naik are getting so into me that today while I was sleeping I saw a dream where I was sitting in one of his shows. I hear his voice everywhere whenever I am in the drawing room where the TV is kept!
Now a days my parents are hooked to a channel, Peace TV. Alhamdulillah they have reduced the viewing of silly television programs they used to watch. Peace TV is owned by IRF, an organization headed by Dr. Zakir Naik. Islamic Research Foundation mostly concentrates on comparative religion and also on Dawah work. In this channel they telecast programs in which various Muslim scholars speak. Apart from Dr. Zakir Naik, there are scholars from many parts of the world including US and far east. The channel is wonderful and precise.
Though I am not watching it regularly, the sound from the TV is always heard even when I am in the living room in front of my computer. Sometimes I do sit with my father and watch; dinner is accompanied by some TV. The talks of Dr. Zakir Naik are getting so into me that today while I was sleeping I saw a dream where I was sitting in one of his shows. I hear his voice everywhere whenever I am in the drawing room where the TV is kept!
Sunday and Monday
Sunday morning I woke up at 8:15 am after sleeping around 3 am. I rushed for the class at CL. I was a little late to enter the class but still not the last one to enter. We had a class for Data Interpretation. It was interesting and went on up to 11:45 am. After reaching home I ate something and crashed out. In the evening we went to my uncle's house.
Yesterday we were supposed to have tests in both of the 2 morning classes - ALC and OOSD. I had prepared for neither of the two - very much like a few of my friends; I am not justifying! I decided not to attend the first period - ALC. I woke up a little late but had to spend a little more time at the bus stand and so by the time I reached the college it was already 11 am. The 2nd class starts at 10:50.
I messaged a friend who was inside the class asking him if I could enter. I waited for the reply for 10 minutes. I received nothing. I left the place with a few of my classmates who have bunked that class and we sat in the ground watching some people play cricket. Later around 11:30 am I received a message that it is too late and I can't enter the class now. My message had reached him 20 minutes late. I even came to know that the lecturer allowed some students to enter even at 11 am. I could have well got in if my message had reached my friend the moment I sent him.
In the afternoon I had OOSD lab where along with a batch mate I had to create some model for the project we are doing. Here in this lab we are using Rational Rose as our UML. The project we are doing is just limited to paperwork and some basic modeling on the software. We are not really going to implement what we are modeling. Our diagrams for the topic we have taken was too complicated but still we are going ahead with it.
I reached home at 5:45 pm. After magrib I sat with my computer. Around 1 am in I finally finished making the blog for which I have been working for the last 3 days. It was finally ready and I was satisfied. There were things I wanted to include but couldn't due to some problems with HTML codes and also my lack of knowledge on a few concepts. I somehow managed.
There were a few very small things I did which that made me feel glad of myself. The one that gave the most happiness was the way I edited the banner of an existing template. I took me a couple of hours to search and decide the template I was going to use. But this one had only one image on the right corner of its banner and the rest of it was plain in color. I liked the template in general so I wanted to use it anyways.
I searched the code to see if I could find the banner code. I was just going through the lines when I incidentally came across the precise sentence of code. It was the link to the servers of blogger.com where the photograph of the banner was saved. I immediately downloaded it.
I already have the setup files of some photo editing softwares including photoshop, photoimpact and one by cannon. I installed 2 of them and tried with this picture of the banner. I tried to see if I could overlap 2 pictures and make them one. I couldn’t. I didn’t spend time on this. I know there must be a way for this.
After a lot of experimenting I could finally make the banner to my satisfaction. Then I uploaded this onto my account in googlepages. I took its link from there, opened the template code again and placed the path address into the same place from where I had taken the link of the banner. I replaced the existing with the new one I had made. I was glad to see the changes taking place the way I wanted them to.
I slept around 3 am and woke up at after 10. I had tea and now I am hungry – I need to have breakfast. My parents have left out for some work. They have a holiday today – even I – the reason being that today is the 10th of Moharram – the day on which this world was created. My mother is fasting.
Yesterday we were supposed to have tests in both of the 2 morning classes - ALC and OOSD. I had prepared for neither of the two - very much like a few of my friends; I am not justifying! I decided not to attend the first period - ALC. I woke up a little late but had to spend a little more time at the bus stand and so by the time I reached the college it was already 11 am. The 2nd class starts at 10:50.
I messaged a friend who was inside the class asking him if I could enter. I waited for the reply for 10 minutes. I received nothing. I left the place with a few of my classmates who have bunked that class and we sat in the ground watching some people play cricket. Later around 11:30 am I received a message that it is too late and I can't enter the class now. My message had reached him 20 minutes late. I even came to know that the lecturer allowed some students to enter even at 11 am. I could have well got in if my message had reached my friend the moment I sent him.
In the afternoon I had OOSD lab where along with a batch mate I had to create some model for the project we are doing. Here in this lab we are using Rational Rose as our UML. The project we are doing is just limited to paperwork and some basic modeling on the software. We are not really going to implement what we are modeling. Our diagrams for the topic we have taken was too complicated but still we are going ahead with it.
I reached home at 5:45 pm. After magrib I sat with my computer. Around 1 am in I finally finished making the blog for which I have been working for the last 3 days. It was finally ready and I was satisfied. There were things I wanted to include but couldn't due to some problems with HTML codes and also my lack of knowledge on a few concepts. I somehow managed.
There were a few very small things I did which that made me feel glad of myself. The one that gave the most happiness was the way I edited the banner of an existing template. I took me a couple of hours to search and decide the template I was going to use. But this one had only one image on the right corner of its banner and the rest of it was plain in color. I liked the template in general so I wanted to use it anyways.
I searched the code to see if I could find the banner code. I was just going through the lines when I incidentally came across the precise sentence of code. It was the link to the servers of blogger.com where the photograph of the banner was saved. I immediately downloaded it.
I already have the setup files of some photo editing softwares including photoshop, photoimpact and one by cannon. I installed 2 of them and tried with this picture of the banner. I tried to see if I could overlap 2 pictures and make them one. I couldn’t. I didn’t spend time on this. I know there must be a way for this.
After a lot of experimenting I could finally make the banner to my satisfaction. Then I uploaded this onto my account in googlepages. I took its link from there, opened the template code again and placed the path address into the same place from where I had taken the link of the banner. I replaced the existing with the new one I had made. I was glad to see the changes taking place the way I wanted them to.
I slept around 3 am and woke up at after 10. I had tea and now I am hungry – I need to have breakfast. My parents have left out for some work. They have a holiday today – even I – the reason being that today is the 10th of Moharram – the day on which this world was created. My mother is fasting.
Saturday, January 27, 2007
Friday and Saturday
Thursday night - morning actually - by the time I slept it was almost 4 am. I had to wake up at 10 am and I left for my grandmother's house. There I helped my aunt do some packing of her luggage which she would be taking with her t Mecca on the coming Friday. Then I sat with my uncle's computer. I fixed the CD writer and the RAM and we formatted his hard-drive. I came back home around 8:30 pm.
Today morning I was reminded of filling up a slam book given to me by a friend. I had very little time but I did it and started from home for the college at 8:45 am. Interestingly I reached the college at 9:15. It took me just 30 minutes where as sometimes even a complete hour becomes less. The lecturers were perhaps in a good mood today! There were 2 classes and it apparently looked to me as if they passed away very fast.
I left my my uncle's house again. A friend dropped me there. I had my lunch, spent some time on the computer browsing through the hundreds of new softwares my uncle has brought from his office, slept for an hour, had the afternoon tea and left for CL at 5:15 pm. I was there well before time. We had an English Usage class and we studied Deductions and Logical Reasoning. It was interesting.
My friend at CL didn't come today so I had to take a bus back home. He has a bike and usually drops me when he is there. I reached home a little after 9:15 pm. My parents told me that 2 of my cousin sisters were going to come to meet us at 10 pm.
They came and spent around 30 minutes here. They wanted to meet us ever since they heard about my grandfather's demise. They called before and now they visited. We usually meet at parties and marriage functions. The last time they were here was around a year back. They are busy with their families and kids. Both of them have cute babies now! My elder cousin brother brought them here.
Today a friend wrote a testimonial for me on my Orkut profile. Thanks to my friend for that but I really don't know if I am worth that much or not. Perhaps a fault or two I have in me would have made it a little exciting. But now I search for a word that would describe a feeling I have presently. The feeling of lowering my head as a social gesture to thank. :D
Since yesterday evening I have browsing and going through a lot of websites that provide graphic images and animations for blogs and websites. Today I searched websites offering templates for blogs. I found some nice ones but I am not happy. The new version of beta is turning out to be a blockade - many codes don't work in blogger beta!
Today I did a lot of thinking on a few particular things while traveling in the buses - I had around 2 to 3 hours in them. I felt nice about a few things and bad about the same things! Everything was about one basic idea - it has been troubling me more almost 2 years now. I prayed to Allah so much but never were my prayers on this precisely on what I wanted. Some times I was even shy to ask Allah for that. And when I asked I was guilty. He knows what is good for me and what good is right for me. He has been very kind to me always. I thank Him with tears.
Around 3 pm today I told my uncle that it was exactly one week back that around this time my grandfather expired. 7 days have passed and I guess I have learnt a little by now how to live with the feeling of not having him in my life. The process is still on.
Today morning I was reminded of filling up a slam book given to me by a friend. I had very little time but I did it and started from home for the college at 8:45 am. Interestingly I reached the college at 9:15. It took me just 30 minutes where as sometimes even a complete hour becomes less. The lecturers were perhaps in a good mood today! There were 2 classes and it apparently looked to me as if they passed away very fast.
I left my my uncle's house again. A friend dropped me there. I had my lunch, spent some time on the computer browsing through the hundreds of new softwares my uncle has brought from his office, slept for an hour, had the afternoon tea and left for CL at 5:15 pm. I was there well before time. We had an English Usage class and we studied Deductions and Logical Reasoning. It was interesting.
My friend at CL didn't come today so I had to take a bus back home. He has a bike and usually drops me when he is there. I reached home a little after 9:15 pm. My parents told me that 2 of my cousin sisters were going to come to meet us at 10 pm.
They came and spent around 30 minutes here. They wanted to meet us ever since they heard about my grandfather's demise. They called before and now they visited. We usually meet at parties and marriage functions. The last time they were here was around a year back. They are busy with their families and kids. Both of them have cute babies now! My elder cousin brother brought them here.
Today a friend wrote a testimonial for me on my Orkut profile. Thanks to my friend for that but I really don't know if I am worth that much or not. Perhaps a fault or two I have in me would have made it a little exciting. But now I search for a word that would describe a feeling I have presently. The feeling of lowering my head as a social gesture to thank. :D
Since yesterday evening I have browsing and going through a lot of websites that provide graphic images and animations for blogs and websites. Today I searched websites offering templates for blogs. I found some nice ones but I am not happy. The new version of beta is turning out to be a blockade - many codes don't work in blogger beta!
Today I did a lot of thinking on a few particular things while traveling in the buses - I had around 2 to 3 hours in them. I felt nice about a few things and bad about the same things! Everything was about one basic idea - it has been troubling me more almost 2 years now. I prayed to Allah so much but never were my prayers on this precisely on what I wanted. Some times I was even shy to ask Allah for that. And when I asked I was guilty. He knows what is good for me and what good is right for me. He has been very kind to me always. I thank Him with tears.
Around 3 pm today I told my uncle that it was exactly one week back that around this time my grandfather expired. 7 days have passed and I guess I have learnt a little by now how to live with the feeling of not having him in my life. The process is still on.
Thursday, January 25, 2007
An exit from one place is an entry to some other place
There wasn't much that happened today except for the long hours I spent on the internet after coming home. I even took a nap before that. I saw many videos on youtube.com, browsed through many pics through google images and listened to 2-3 songs. Before listening to them I asked my mother if I could, she said its fine if I feel like but asked me to keep the volume. Like always I had the earphones ready. I didn't listen much though.
I had Computer Networks lab in the morning from 10 am. I sat alone on the system given to me and typed continuously from my friends book. I copied around 8 programs from there. The rest of the time I wasted experimenting. The afternoon class was left 45 minutes early. I was with friends till 3:40 pm in the college and 4:10 in the bus.
I even had chats with almost 10 people today. Some conversations were long and some were very short. One of them is still on - more than 3 hours passed till now. I thought of sleeping without updating but felt that writing a few lines shouldn't take much time.
Tomorrow I will be going to my grandmother's house. I even have to return my uncle's CD writer and we will be arranging some furniture there. I even have to fix a few things in his computer. He brought some extra RAM and a hard-drive. His monitor too has some problem and someday later we will take it to CTC in Secunderabad.
Today a friend of mine left early. When another called him he said he has a bad mood and he wants to go somewhere far away. He said he has a free bus pass and he can go anywhere. He seems to be exactly opposite of what I do. I prefer staying with my friends and talking to them as much as possible. They always make me feel good.
Today's title appeared as a quote in some newspaper some days back. I liked it and wanted to use it. Today I saw somebody having it on his orkut profile. And so, it is here on my blog - I was reminded.
I had Computer Networks lab in the morning from 10 am. I sat alone on the system given to me and typed continuously from my friends book. I copied around 8 programs from there. The rest of the time I wasted experimenting. The afternoon class was left 45 minutes early. I was with friends till 3:40 pm in the college and 4:10 in the bus.
I even had chats with almost 10 people today. Some conversations were long and some were very short. One of them is still on - more than 3 hours passed till now. I thought of sleeping without updating but felt that writing a few lines shouldn't take much time.
Tomorrow I will be going to my grandmother's house. I even have to return my uncle's CD writer and we will be arranging some furniture there. I even have to fix a few things in his computer. He brought some extra RAM and a hard-drive. His monitor too has some problem and someday later we will take it to CTC in Secunderabad.
Today a friend of mine left early. When another called him he said he has a bad mood and he wants to go somewhere far away. He said he has a free bus pass and he can go anywhere. He seems to be exactly opposite of what I do. I prefer staying with my friends and talking to them as much as possible. They always make me feel good.
Today's title appeared as a quote in some newspaper some days back. I liked it and wanted to use it. Today I saw somebody having it on his orkut profile. And so, it is here on my blog - I was reminded.
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