The title is a quote by Elbert Hubbard. I have subscribed to a newslatter from about.com and they keep sending me something interesting every week. This Saturday it was quotes by Elbert Hubbard.
I arrived home 9:10 pm today after the class at CL. It was about reading comprehension and it was one of the best classes I have attended till date. I have assessed my reading speed as 155 words per minute at that particular moment, with that particular mood, with those five 600 to 900 word essays. By the time I get ready to write CAT, I need to have my speed around 350 i guess. Even if it is not necessary, I know I can make it - I wnat to actually. Its a satisfaction in itself. I need to be more good at comprehension.
Evertime I attend some class at CL I feel as if I have dome something very significant - even when its a very small things. It makes me feel that I have spent some productive time - learnt something that will give me a better shape - even when its just something related to maths!
It was around 12:30 am in the morning (night) that I decided to attend the college to be there at the program being conducted for 29 Saturdays starting form today. We were not informed about this yesterday in the class but somehow I came to know that it was mandatory to attend and I attended. It is regarding campus interviews. We would be taught about how to get through the campus interviews and selection processes. Today we had lectures on GD and PI. We even had a mock GD and a mockPI. It is necessary that we all attend at least 20 of such Saturdays to be eligible for campus interviews.
I am seriously not interested in any campus placements but still I will try to attend as many of them I find possible for me. There is always something to learn even if I dont like what is being said or taught. At least I will learn to endure something I am not interested in. But I dont think I will find myself learning endurance in the lectures ... things like these have always excited me. Just that the purpose or the objective of this complete program is something I am not interested in!
Saturday, September 16, 2006
Thursday, September 14, 2006
Here I am
I was thinking of some title for today's post and the song 'here I am' by Brian Adams started in the head phones which are in my ears now, so I thought of having this as the title - simply.
I had my dinner late today - actually sitting in front of the television. I watched some video related to network marketing by some very famous person working with Network21. It was real fun to see him speak along with a translator who was translating all his words and sentences in hindi. I havent finished with the full video yet; it is of 2 CDs and I have watched just 34 minutes of the first one. I have lost the patience to sit in front of the television for long even if it a very interesting show I got the CDs from my uncle.
I even completed one of my lab records tday. I was thinking that it would take me a lot of time for finishing but to my surprise i finished it in a little less than an hour. I was glad that it was finally over; if i had known that it was so small, then i would have finished it long back. It was my friend's record that gave me the essential help. I was listenign to music as I was writing.
Today I withdrew what I had sent 2 days back. I simply have no idea if that has made any difference but I am definitely feeling a little relieved that I wont be waiting for anything now. But still, I dont feel right about it. Will take some time for me to forget it. But i will forget it.
Perhaps a rejection would have made things easier for me.
I had my dinner late today - actually sitting in front of the television. I watched some video related to network marketing by some very famous person working with Network21. It was real fun to see him speak along with a translator who was translating all his words and sentences in hindi. I havent finished with the full video yet; it is of 2 CDs and I have watched just 34 minutes of the first one. I have lost the patience to sit in front of the television for long even if it a very interesting show I got the CDs from my uncle.
I even completed one of my lab records tday. I was thinking that it would take me a lot of time for finishing but to my surprise i finished it in a little less than an hour. I was glad that it was finally over; if i had known that it was so small, then i would have finished it long back. It was my friend's record that gave me the essential help. I was listenign to music as I was writing.
Today I withdrew what I had sent 2 days back. I simply have no idea if that has made any difference but I am definitely feeling a little relieved that I wont be waiting for anything now. But still, I dont feel right about it. Will take some time for me to forget it. But i will forget it.
Perhaps a rejection would have made things easier for me.
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
Ache in my head
I didnt wish to bunck any class today but when I found that my lab record was in no way like I had wanted it to be, I lost that wish. I didnt go to the lab cos I didnt like to submit the record that way. I came home at around 4:30 pm. Wanted to talk to some friends but I guess I will do it tomorrow (today, now).
The time I am spending on orkut is increasing everyday. I found many of my old friends there and I guess it is better to scrap there than chat in yahoo messenger.
The time I am spending on orkut is increasing everyday. I found many of my old friends there and I guess it is better to scrap there than chat in yahoo messenger.
Monday, September 11, 2006
Good and evil
A friend of mine seems to have some problem with me - he wants to define the differences between good and bad even when i told him that it is better off as good and evil http://wahfais.blogspot.com He will take some lessons from me very soon.
I had a better day today. We left the college early without attending the afternoon class and I spent a lot of time on the internet especially with orkut. I had been thinking of adding somebody and even my friends have asked me to go ahead with it but I am still afraid. Seems to be a joke ... I have a keyboard in my hands which is mightier not just than a sword but a tank and I am afraid of making a few clicks with my mouse. Actually, the mouse must be a little weaker. :D
I haven't read my friend's post completely even till now. I had chats with many people on orkut and even on yahoo messenger. I didn't get the time and the right mood. I was preoccupied with some other thoughts!
I had a better day today. We left the college early without attending the afternoon class and I spent a lot of time on the internet especially with orkut. I had been thinking of adding somebody and even my friends have asked me to go ahead with it but I am still afraid. Seems to be a joke ... I have a keyboard in my hands which is mightier not just than a sword but a tank and I am afraid of making a few clicks with my mouse. Actually, the mouse must be a little weaker. :D
I haven't read my friend's post completely even till now. I had chats with many people on orkut and even on yahoo messenger. I didn't get the time and the right mood. I was preoccupied with some other thoughts!
Sunday, September 10, 2006
Nothing much for today
I didnt do anything more than going to the class at CL. Rest of the time i spent silently in front of my computer and on the bed reading and thinking.
I asked my father to take us for some outing but my brother had to study so we stayed indoors.
I asked my father to take us for some outing but my brother had to study so we stayed indoors.
Saturday, September 9, 2006
Today afternoon and evening I wasn't me
I had only one class in the college today but I was there till 5 pm. I left home at 8:30 in the morning and was back at 9:10 in the evening.
The class I had in the college started at around 10:25 am. I went to the lab for print outs at 12:15 pm I guess and was there till 3:00 pm. I would have spent more time but there was a power failure. There were 4 sets of print outs I will along with a friend and we took around 200 pages for our work. It hasn't been completed yet. Till here my day was wonderful - full of happiness and cheer.
When I left the lab and was on the stairs I saw somebody sitting there with a friend. I kept my face bowed down as usual but this time I raised my eyes to have a look. That person had already turned the face away from me. That person knew I was there and wantedly didn't look at me. It seemed as if I am being ignored, dumped, hated ... it was hurting. I must learn how to keep my eyes to myself. Should I have not looked up at that person, I had been writing a jovial post today.
I sat behind the library with 2 of my friends and had kunch. I was not fine. Then we went to our football ground where some students of Mechanical department were constructing something like a helicpoter which they were terming as ... I don't remember, sorry. Without even telling my friend, I started moving towards some corner in the ground to sit there. They followed me. I simply can't write down the way I behaved there. I spoke what came to my mouth, I was playing with leaves, stones, ants, everything I could find around me. I was not conscious and not in control of myself. I was laughing but all the time I was afraid I would break into tears.
We sat there till 4:50 pm. My friends left me and I was alone. Perhaps lonely. I had my class at CL from 6:30 pm and it was hardly 5 pm now. I roamed around for some time. I dont know why I did that. I hope I would find someboday but also hoped that I dont get to see anybody.
Then I thought I should leave the college. I went to a near by busstand and stood there for sometime. I wanted to sit but there wasnt any place there. I went to 2 more busstands after that thinking that I would get some pleace to sit but all I got was some rest from the busstop's shelter columns. I had to pass time and it wasn't moving. Ther was nothing I could do. I think I felt that way.
I didnt go to CL because there again I would be alone till the class starts. Somehow I escaped those 70 minutes and I was at CL. I was very tired and was in no mood to concentrate in the class. Somehow I managed to participate in all the discussions and came back ome at 9:10 pm. My friend who is also my classmate there dropped me home else I would have reached home only at 10 pm.
My father had not parked the car properly so I had to take the weel in my hands after some weeks. I took it as a chance and drove for a few minutes. I took a turn in the dark streets of military area near my house. Then into Salarjung Colony and back to tolichowki speeding at 75kmph. I broke the rules today. I drove so fast with some havy flow of traffic. I hope nobody comes to know about this. I think I was feeling some anger when I was driving and it was evidnt from the force I was putting on the accelerator. I had the vehicle in my control no doubt. My father drives at 80 kmph sometimes.
I have been listening to slow songs since then.
The class I had in the college started at around 10:25 am. I went to the lab for print outs at 12:15 pm I guess and was there till 3:00 pm. I would have spent more time but there was a power failure. There were 4 sets of print outs I will along with a friend and we took around 200 pages for our work. It hasn't been completed yet. Till here my day was wonderful - full of happiness and cheer.
When I left the lab and was on the stairs I saw somebody sitting there with a friend. I kept my face bowed down as usual but this time I raised my eyes to have a look. That person had already turned the face away from me. That person knew I was there and wantedly didn't look at me. It seemed as if I am being ignored, dumped, hated ... it was hurting. I must learn how to keep my eyes to myself. Should I have not looked up at that person, I had been writing a jovial post today.
I sat behind the library with 2 of my friends and had kunch. I was not fine. Then we went to our football ground where some students of Mechanical department were constructing something like a helicpoter which they were terming as ... I don't remember, sorry. Without even telling my friend, I started moving towards some corner in the ground to sit there. They followed me. I simply can't write down the way I behaved there. I spoke what came to my mouth, I was playing with leaves, stones, ants, everything I could find around me. I was not conscious and not in control of myself. I was laughing but all the time I was afraid I would break into tears.
We sat there till 4:50 pm. My friends left me and I was alone. Perhaps lonely. I had my class at CL from 6:30 pm and it was hardly 5 pm now. I roamed around for some time. I dont know why I did that. I hope I would find someboday but also hoped that I dont get to see anybody.
Then I thought I should leave the college. I went to a near by busstand and stood there for sometime. I wanted to sit but there wasnt any place there. I went to 2 more busstands after that thinking that I would get some pleace to sit but all I got was some rest from the busstop's shelter columns. I had to pass time and it wasn't moving. Ther was nothing I could do. I think I felt that way.
I didnt go to CL because there again I would be alone till the class starts. Somehow I escaped those 70 minutes and I was at CL. I was very tired and was in no mood to concentrate in the class. Somehow I managed to participate in all the discussions and came back ome at 9:10 pm. My friend who is also my classmate there dropped me home else I would have reached home only at 10 pm.
My father had not parked the car properly so I had to take the weel in my hands after some weeks. I took it as a chance and drove for a few minutes. I took a turn in the dark streets of military area near my house. Then into Salarjung Colony and back to tolichowki speeding at 75kmph. I broke the rules today. I drove so fast with some havy flow of traffic. I hope nobody comes to know about this. I think I was feeling some anger when I was driving and it was evidnt from the force I was putting on the accelerator. I had the vehicle in my control no doubt. My father drives at 80 kmph sometimes.
I have been listening to slow songs since then.
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