I tried darkness in my brain in the dark !!!

Couldn't help with an update yesterday - there was no power in the night for more than 2 hours and I was simply lying near the window trying not to think anythink. This was really tough. My mind has become a kind of hot air filled balloon that refuses to sit at one place. I wated to keep it blank for sometime but only sleep could do it. I know even while sleeping there is nothing I can do as it is an unconscious process.

By the way, yesterday I was at a friend's place who lives very far from my house. I wanted to meet him since long. Has has been to my house several times> I went there after a year. I was there along with another friend and when we were leaving the place at 5 pm he forced us to have lunch. What heppened later that evening was really bad.

I had the keys of my house and I was of the thinking that my brother or my father was having it. And when I came back home I met my father near the gate and he said "Go up, and I will come after your mother takes your 'class'".

I was expecting it. But I was very happy to see my father calm - he had been waiting for me for 3 hours and my mother for 1 hour. All the time I was on my way back I was thinking of the possible things I can say in my defense. But I knew i was my mistake. I wanted to say a sorry but I also knew that, that wouldn't help. I was feeling very bad and guilty - I had made my mom wait for so long.

I wish I could accept openly that it was my fault and say that I am really really sory for that. But when my mom started scolding me, my ego started the talking. I fought back saying that we have 2 keys for the main door and someone else too should have had kept one. There were several useless things I said and all the while I knew I am theone on the wrong side of the line. I was feeling guilty. But what I said made my mom become silent very soon. (I am really for that mamma.)

Today my brother's 10th standard's results were out. He got 80% and was very happy. I had to check the results of around 60 students of my dad's school and I was thinking that it was going to be very tiresome. But it was damn easy and interesting too. Now I plan to create a sort of database in MS-Excel so that it helps him understand the performance of his school teachers. I still have to complete that work.

I started the evening with lots of sneezing. They are on even now. I think in the past 3 hours I have sneezed for more than 50 time. It was a nice pleasure untill it started giving me a headache and made me feel weak. But I am fine now.

There is still a lot of work to be done by me. I hope I can make up a good part of it tonight.

At last ...

Yes, at last I am done with my new blog - The Technology Blog. It was simple procrastination that was stopping me from publishing it, and after having done it I am smiling at myself thinking how simple it was and how much worried I was about putting those snaps there. Though were not sharp but they did give a nice look to the blog as a whole.

I also updated Gridlocked, Corkers, My Home Page Blog and my Home Page! Though there wasn't anything new and interesting in them, an update is always an update :D . I am still looking for something interesting for the home page and the pages connected to it...actually I am a bit discouraged as I am not working the way I wanted to.

I wanted to start writing on people but I couldn't do that... actually didn't do that (Laziness, huh!). But I think I will plan out something like catagorising the things I am going to write about them - I will have specified topics so that I can be more objective and write point-to-point. But still I am not clear with the way I am going to organise it.

I think I have got a new topic for Flowing Emotions. Though I can't tell it here, all I can say that there is more philosophy on the way ... I do not know how long its going to take for it to arrive (or for me to feel like writing it!).

My brother's results of his 10th standard's final examinations must be out on 4th so after that maybe my dad himself will take us to Gulbarga. I felt very bad that I couldn't go there on last saturday as decided previously.

Hmmn ...

I slept a lot today and had my lunch at 7:15 pm. This was because of my late breakfast and lots of mangoes in the afternoon. These were the first of the mangoes I have eaten this season and the ones I ate were perfectly fine but my mother was complaining about a few bad ones. (Never mind mom we have the whole season to be exploited :D )

In the evening my grandmother and aunt were here. Though I wasn't completely dedicated to them (I was with my computer), I felt good having them here. They hardly come to my house, everytime we go and meet them.

Just before writing this post I saw that someone has reviewed by blog through blogsrater. This one was fine. It was in my favor :D . Then I thought of rating a few blogs by myself so that I could get some free advertising. I have even put a link of blogsrater on my blog so that anyone interested can try it.

Starting from tomorrow I should start writing on several people I have in my life. I am not sure on how many I am really going to write but right now I think the number is 25. I hope I do with all these. Its really going to be interesting for me defining all these people for me. It will be like knowing more about ppl I already know by thinking about each of them. I am going to be as frank as possible and I hope no one will mind that. I don't think I'd like to share it with anyone but that will crop up only when I start writing. I won't hurt anyone and the 25 shall the ones who won't mistake me for anything wrong (hopefully). And yes, I will keep all this private and hidden. :D (sounds professonal and interesting - I wish it comes out the same way too.)

I have even started working for my next blog - The Technology Blog. I have just created it and posted nothing. The first thing to appear would be about IE 7 Beta 2. I have already taken snaps of it, I have to write on them. So check it out in the days to come. :)

Missed a day ...

Yesterday I was too tired after writing and reading so much. In the evening I was again not feeling well and I also had to go to a marriage fuction. I couldn't skipp that because that was my only source of dinner :D . Anyways I am fine now and I really feel wonderful after I have written that.

I am going to rewrite all that once again after a year. Till then I will have learnt a lot many things.

I do not hav much to write for today. Its just the actual start of my day now and unlike daily I am updating this in during the daytime itself just in case I dont feel like doing it in the night.

Today again I have party to attend and I am sure its gong to be boring with no chicken. I have started to dislike mutton already.

Yes ... here it is

The day before yesterday was as plain as open sky and I slept for most of the time. It was my first holiday and I thought thats the best way to enjoy it. Even sleeping is sometimes a kind of enjoyment. My cousin was here and we had a fine time. He left yesterday morning.

Yesterday I had been to Ocean Park - a water theme park. My basic purpose was to accompany my friends and not to enjoy the water there. In the morning all my friends, 7 of them, came to my house and maybe this was for the first time that I had so many of my friends at my house. It was great to see them all here. Just that a few more were missing and it would have been much better if they had been with us yesterday.

We reached the place by around 12 noon. The first attraction was the one of bumping cars. I just sat there watching 4 of my friends palying with those cars. I didn't go there for reasons unknown to myself and I didn't bother to find it out too. I was happy seeing them play. Next they went to the changing rooms and as I have already decided not to let myself into the waters, I waited for them to get themselves into their swimming costumes. We had a short photo session after that. 2 of them were trying to hide themselves preventing to get into the frame of the pictures but we managed to have them in the clicks.

They went into the wave-pool and I stood beside it with 2 others who too have felt the same way I did. But later one of them got interested in the waters and got carried away. I stood outside and took a few more pics.

Time passed quickly(though I WAS getting bored!), and they all went for the water rides and slides. We took indvidual pics after this. Following the 3rd photo session we left that place. It was around 4:30 I suppose.

But after we came out, one of my friend decided that he would not allow himself and others to leave that place right away. He took the keys of one of the bikes and refused to return it saying that he would ride a bike whose keys were with another guy. The other guy too was stubborn and refused to give the keys of that bike saying that he would ride it himself. They didn't fought but they we spent another one hour sitting there doing foolishly nothing. Later sense dawned into them and we left for the city. On our way back we had grilled chicken and I was droppend at my house at 6:40.

It a day well spent even though I went there not to enjoy but just to be with my friends. And yes there was something more I observed. I was in my formal clothes there and I was being looked by some people like an alien. I could see many eyes eyes staring at my attire as if I had come from some extra-terrestrial place with some machines fixed onto my features. Their sights were shooting violent glances at me hitting me directly at my face. But I refused to allow those shots to pierce into my skin and I helped my skin smile. I wasn't perturbed, rather I was enjoying it.

Late in the evening I helped my mom with some chores and continued with "The Virtue of Selfishness". I wanted to write all this yesterday itself buutcouldn't because I was really thinking abou a few things and I didn't with to lose my rythm with that. Today I will start writing Flowing Emotions and I have no how much its going to take. I hope it gets completed by today night or atleast tomorrow morning.

Today I have many things to do including the partial formatting of my system. It has slowed down a lot and thnx to HP-recovery I can with ease reinstall all the softwares that were shipped with it when I bought it 18 months back.

Tomorrow I will be leaving for Gulbarga in the evening. Though I haven't received the final nod from my parents, I know its just a mater of few second before they agree. I may be there for 3-4 days with my cousins. I am sure of having good time with them.

Tomorrow ...

This is not a procrastination and I know it is not so only because I have chosen it to be my moral code of ethic momentarily so as to make myself more deliberate towards transparency and honesty in accordance to the fundamentals my religion has set for me - the ones that have been rationally defined for my convenience to integrate them into my daily being by being epistemological in full range of verve.

All I mean to say is "watch this space tomorrow".

I let it go today

I felt a bit feverish today evening. But I know it was not fever though my legs were feeling as if something was trying to force them burst. I thought of pressing them with my hands but left it for the tablet to do the work from inside. I am absolutely fine now but sleepy. I have got lots of writing work to do... I couldn't even start writing on the technology blog I wanted to, and started thinking on the next posting for Flowing Emotions but didn't start drafting it. I got a soft copy of "The Virtus of Selfishness" by Ayn Rand. I started reading it but I guess this is not something I can read directly from the screen - I will have to get the hard copy ... I better get a printout of it someday.