Social Arts

Men are like steel. When they lose their temper, they lose their worth.
- Chuck Norris

The last 45 minutes I saw were spent in acute anger. I just told myself that I should get good explanations from some people so that I am made to feel guilty of thinking such distasteful things about them. I want to see myself at the fault of being speculative and prejudiced. I am only trying to figure out how that explanation could be. I want to apologize, but with a reason. It's not a good idea to stop talking to anybody, but for a reason. I like myself when I am clear with what I stand for.

It has been a busy weekend with hardly any time to talk to my father. I told him a few days back that I wanted to talk to him and he had asked me what it was about. I had said that it was about me and since then I am waiting for him to start the conversation. I am sure he remembers my request, but either of us is finding time for each other. I know that will come and it will leave teaching me good things. Even the time that make me wait seems to behave like a teacher.

My cousin brother's engagement has been fixed for some day in May ad his marriage will be in July inshAllah. This will be for the first time that I would be with a person getting married who has been a very close friend of mine. He is at least 6 years elder to me and I am glad by the way he treats me. I wonder how I get so comfortable with people who are so elder to me. The other day, in a detailed discussion about a few things, I asked another cousin who is 12 years elder to me, how he could manage being a single for so many years. His answer was simple: "I got used to it!" And I know things have changed between us in the last few months.

I bought a couple of books for myself on Saturday. There is a long list already of those waiting to be read and finished. I am already in the first half of a non-fiction, and on the 45th page of a very voluminous one. Then there are plenty to be read after them. I can't explain my excitement when I go to bookshops. The smell of fresh printed paper covered with color talking of big authors drives me crazy. There is enough time left for all productive work I can do but with hardly 44 days left for my engineering to get over, I have all reasons to avoid it. I will have a lot of time after May 1st. I am ready to forgo that.

I need things to sweep me off my feet. Things that make me forget all the great times I had in the past and make me look forward to the future. I want to continue to have the same people around me always but because I know that can't be possible, I at least want those around to make a lot of difference to me. This could sound interesting and exciting if taken in the right note. More often than realized, things don't always go well when such desires arise. It is said that there is time for everything but nobody explains how to gauge it and have the right measure. It's kind of funny how we have to heed to what people say.