Afterwards

After all these years, I see that I was mistaken about Eve in the beginning; it is better to live outside the Garden with her than inside it without her.
-Mark Twain, Extracts from Adam's Diary(1904)

It's 11:12 pm now. Too early for me to go to sleep. I was with my parents all this time and they have left for sleep. I wanted to talk to somebody. Anybody known to me as a well wisher could do. I came online for that. I thought I could at least talk to my brother but he seems to be busy. But now I ask myself, for how many more days or months am I going to find myself searching for people to talk to me. Why did I not learn to keep myself pleased at all times?

But that is not the case always. I know that once I finish writing for today, I will be a different person waiting for different things. I am my best entertainer. I can wait for hours without complaining. It's just this desire to have somebody to talk that comes up every now-and-then. InshAllah someday I will find a way to get over it without the need to write a blog.

I did find some time for productive work today. I reached college just in time to provide the keys of a classroom whose responsibility I had taken under me yesterday. I still remember saying those words to the head of the Computer Science department: "I will take the responsibility, sir". I know I was late in the morning. It was 8:28 AM in my phone when I opened my eyes and I was there in the college at 9:51 AM. I have no idea why I remember these times so well. The other thing I did was walking with my friend to all the places he was going to for official work. I had nothing else but to follow him. I am happy with that.

It was long back that I had thought of conducting an event of my own in the fest currently going on in my college. I had never been serious with it until I had a pleasant coincidence. I reconsidered my blurred plan and so I had the event's posters ready. One of the faults I made was of forgetting to think about why students participate in an event of a contest. I gave some thought to that today and I felt myself as self centered and egoistic. I hope to write here that I have learnt a lesson but with all my heart, I am yet to. I am also in no mood to think about what kind of perception one could get after reading all this. Some knowledge and understandings don't come so easily and inherently.

I still wish to find somebody before tomorrow's morning who would talk to me for a while. I would sit and listen as well. I just found a friend online but the chat is too broken to be considered as a talk. And yes of course, things will be different when tomorrow starts as a continuation of the today. And there won't be that need or even a memory of it before such a desire pops up yet again. And I will continue to remind myself that there is something I am yet to learn