"People Should Know When They Are Conquered"

You will never be lovelier than you are now. And we will never be here again.
- Achilles, Troy

I was waiting for this day to come when I could with some honor write that when I am thinking of doing MS in US, I am giving something to make that happen. Right now I have all the backing from my parents and an unprecedented appreciation and encouragement from my friends and relatives. I have the financial aspects cleared and everything in order. There are only two things I need to wait for now - I 20 and F 1. Allah decides.

After writing IBSAT, I was sure that I could definitely get into any of the ICFAI colleges in India, but I wanted to see my absolute scores. They sent me a packet inviting me to attend their interview process. They even called me up asking me to come down to their office. They didn't let me know my scores. Then I came to know that they had given similar invitation to many other students who had appeared for IBSAT which was on 16th of December in 2007. Today I tried to check my score again on their website but it says that the combination of my identification number and date of birth is invalid. I find it absurd. I have these things in written and I know they are correct.

I am glad I didn't confirm with them for my interview which was scheduled for February 13th. ICFAI should understand that sending top class merchandise, spending a lot on marketing and promotion, sending free magazines and diaries and showing off their placement records doesn't made them better than low grade institutions. When they ask for Rs. 900,000 for a postgraduate diploma in business management, they need to remember that there are many companies and countries that don't recognize them as an institute for management studies. And it is even more hopeless when they refuse to let me know my scores. It took me Rs. 1,000 to understand all this. They took that money from me just to have me write their entrance test and to send those heavy packets.

XAT was classy. That was expected from the people of XLRI. Their test was of a good standard and could be seen as equal to the stature of CAT. My performance in that made it clear to me that I appeared in that test only because I had applied. The 77.21 percentile which I was made aware of through post on February 5th couldn't intimidate me. I presently have some mails including the rank cards of XAT and CAT spread on my desk. There are some from colleges who want me to apply for an admission. They should be moved and removed as trash.

CAT was still a satisfaction. I could appear ironic that I call it a satisfaction when in no way I am going to use it's 85.7 percentile. There were around 200,000 who appeared the test, there are around 29,000 who performed better than me, there is me who performed better than 170,000, I scored a 90+ percentile in the English section, nobody could tell me that my scores were bad though there was some unhappiness among my cousins and parents, immediate implementations of secondary plans and no regrets for what all I had done make me feel satisfied. And the satisfaction continues.

The day on which I received my XAT's score, February 5th, I went through an experience called GRE. I scored 1210 out of 1600 there with the breakdown as 760 in the quantitative section and 450 in the verbal. The analytical writing section too was good. That was satisfaction again as I am in a position to apply for the universities I was thinking of. There was something I needed and Allah gave it to me. I have all reasons to be satisfied. Of course my needs grow limitlessly.

Then there was today's morning which I was waiting again. I had appeared for TOEFL on January 19th and today, February 8th, was the day I was supposed to receive my score. It was 111 out of 120 with the scores in reading, listening, speaking and writing as 29, 26, 27 and 29 in that order; all of these out of 30 each. All this was more than just satisfaction! That score is accepted by almost all universities in US unlike the 1210 of GRE. All I do is just Allah and hope that I remain on the right paths till the end.

Today I had a pizza at a bakery near my college. It was a luscious chocolate dessert yesterday at Ohri's. It was literally a fiesta - like those I have in my dreams when I am hungry while sleeping. I had a heavy dinner sometime back and just thinking of this 'Bulls Eye' makes my mouth water. It was one of the best desserts I had in recent times. I wanted to have more of it but it was heavy leaving my craving for more but not letting my belly afford it. I wish I can go there right now and eat to my heart.

I can feel pain at multiple locations in my throat. I even had a soft drink in the evening. I have been continuing with ice creams and chocolate for a few weeks now and there seems to be no respite from this untimely temptation which has exploded without a warning. I am not talking any medication and am in no mood for any. The only change I made is the one in which I am not having cold water. The drinks and ice creams of course are cold.