They Are Not My Songs

It isn't that they can't see the solution. It is that they can't see the problem.
- G. K. Chesterton

I was watching a movie a day for the last four days. The time was usually only after 11:30 pm and went on till 2:30 am with many interruptions made by chatting. I have many more lined up for viewing - "Just My Luck", "Julius Cesar", "City Of Angels", "Resident Evil Extinction" and "Underground Evolution" are a few of them. The next batch would get me all the three from the "Rambo" series. Among the ones I watched recently were two from the "Die Hard" series. And there shouldn't be any guessing about how many times I have watched "Troy".

Sometime back my father took us out for a walk. I don;t find Tolichowki a place to take a stroll but because he asked, I didn't want to miss the chance. A bakery on the way reminded my father of burgers. We had standing there and all of it was unexpected. I still have to eat my dinner and nobody looks interested in it. It's already 10:45 pm. I am hungry but I don't feel like eating anything.

Yesterday night when I went to sleep I had an unexplainable feeling of fear in my heart. I couldn't understand why it was there. As I lay on my bed I began to think of all the possibilities - I thought about my parents, my friends, studies, even blogs, about the Saturday I was going to see with the new sun, about Sunday's test, the party I have planned for the evening that day - nothing seemed like a probably reason for fear I should be having. I hoped I understood what it was so that I could take some action. I am sure it was already 4 am. I kept staring at the ceiling for long before waking up to the morning. I was fine then.

My mother called my short-length shirt as a choli. My brother reminded my father that I had once called him a senior citizen. My mother told me that I have become callous and am I no more soft like I used to be when I was a kid. My father told me how once when I was a kid I saw a dead cockroach and had asked him how it had died. My father had said that it must have become too old. It seems I asked him if even we are going to get old someday and die like that cockroach. He was just reminding me that things like those used to effect me. My mother told my aunt today that I am not interested in staying with them after my engineering and I want to leave home. Then she told my father that once I go to US, I would marry a girl there. She said I would just bring that girl to them someday and inform them that she was their daughter-in-law. I listened to all this and said nothing.

It's 11:02 pm now and I am being called for dinner. The television is on making my aversion towards it hard to beat. I have to now sit in that room with my parents and forcefully listen to it. I have been doing it all these days and there are so many adverts I can recognise only by the music in it. There are some serials I hate even listening to. But because I have to dine with my parents, I need to do it. It was a good day today and I will do it without complaining.