A couple of days back I watched the movie 'Munich'. I had blankly opened the folder containing the ripped file and started playing it. The first few minutes I was wondering if that was really the start of the movie but as I began to understand the story I accepted it to be it. I watched it for 45 minutes and closed. Yesterday when I opened the folder again I found two files. I couldn't believe that my eyes had missed one yesterday. I opened the newly discovered file and watched the movie from the start. I finished the complete viewing just sometime back. It was a fine piece of work by Steven Spielberg.
Many months back somebody asked me why I don't have a blog for Islamic articles. It looked imperative from the number of blogs I was updating at the moment that I have a blog dedicated to topics in religion. But I wondered if that was necessary. I wondered if I needed anything more than the blogs maintained by two of my dearest cousins. One of these two is more popular than any Islamic blog I have opened till date (ibnalhyderabadee.wordpress.com). But I also thought about the religion I had already mixed into the posts I had written and the ideas I have shared. The only difference from an Islamic blog and my blogs, that I could think of, was that an Islamic blog pastes religion with facts, narrations and proofs, and I had written all my words trying to keep them inside the umbrella of religion and I never mentioned as direct references. I did use some quotes from the Holy Quran for explanations, but faith was inherent to my blogs.
I have always hated those who flaunt and I have hated myself. The hatred was for good. I made me learn self-love. It sounds ironic that hatred can teach love and that I talk of love with hatred in my mind. I have written about it once. But I am not turning away from my words. I still wonder why children in schools are taught about the theory of evolution when no religious scripture supports it and no-born-of-a-woman-scientist could prove it. How can we teach faith to children when we ask them to learn about a theory whose author himself wasn't sure of it? Why are we letting children learn lies and let them believe in it? Is this how we educate?
Today I recollected three different days of my past in which Allah had brought be very close to death. These are quite different from what I had written in "My Nights Of Death". The most recent of these three days just a few months back when I was sitting in front of the computer on a plastic chair swinging it by making it stand just on its two hind legs. A swing went too away from the fulcrum and the balance left for space. The chair slipped bringing me close to the floor by some inches just when I managed to put my both hands on the smooth floor and prevent a further slip. I had just missed a nearby table. If I were a little away from the computer while swigning down, the exact center of the back of my head would have hit the corner of this table and perhaps killing me instantly. I was rocking very fast on the chair and blood-spill was guaranteed. The table rests behind me even now and the threat remains. I have stopped playing with the chair.
When I was in the first year of my intermediate days the final examinations' center was somewhere behind the Golkonda fort. It was a government college about three kilometers away from my house. I wanted to have a look at it with my friend on his bike. We found that place with ease but on our return journey my friend got interested in the big walls of the fort and wanted to have a closer look. There were tracks down from the main road leading to a high place close to the wall. From distance we could see the wall and the elevated point and some invisible gap betwen them. We followed the tracks on the mud and we were fast. The bike started climbing the hillock. But the moment we reached the top, there was nothing beyond that. My only instinct was the jump off the bike but I couldn't because I had my friend sitting in front of me. He hit the brakes hard. There was a short skid and the bike stopped a foot behind the edge. There was a free fall of at least 15 feet just beyond that point.
I don't remember the exact location in time of this last incidence. In fact it happened before the two I have already mentioned. I was out to meet a friend in Afzalgunj. He was in Hyderabad for some days when he got free from him college in Nasik. After getting down the bus I had to walk to reach his house and there were several big busy roads to be crossed. It was a turn on the road and the traffic was coming from my right. The moment I stepped down the footpath and looked on my right I saw an RTC bus coming. The bus was at a good distance from the point I was standing and it was turning. As the bus started to turn more, it kept getting closer to the footpath. It was just my instinct that I moved back and climbed the footpath. Less than a second later the huge vehicle was speeding moving exactly above the place I was standing. The gap between the footpath and the wheels of the bus was less than five inches. If I had stood there for a instance more, the bus would have banged me away throwing me into the shop behind. This was closer than the two above. I wish I could give all this a better comprehension. I can't express how happy I was to see myself alive. I don't find it necessary to write here about my interactions with Allah regarding this.
But I am of those who flaunt. I work with everything I can and I like letting it show. I like to see people know what I have done and also sometimes what I can do. The later can hardly make any sense if I am not convincingly telling it, but the former always has truth to speak for it. It shows by itself. With flaunting in my mind, I keep the feelings of superiority away from it. I never think of making any person feel inferior to me. At least I don't try to; intentionally. Sometimes I know I do cause to become an object that inflicts inferiority, but it has never been my intention. I express my happiness, sorrow, pain, fear, satisfaction and thankfulness in different forms. I am in no way superior to any man or a woman on this earth and I am as weak as a black ant. I have what Allah has blessed me with. Nothing belongs to me. He owns everything and he can take it away if He wants. Out of several people I know, I can say that I do not bow my head in front of anybody but Allah. I am but His slave.
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