Can I schedule an outrage?

Yesterday I had written a 15 paragraph post which still remains as an unpublished draft. I had written it with utmost care not letting even a single emotion escape the comprehension. My objective was to retaliate; to pacify the outrage that had built up within me after I read how my blog and I were termed 'shit'. There were umpteen number of reasons that coerced me to put up a blatant show of the emphatic ripples that were initialized in the ocean of my irrefutable heart. The publishing of all that in this public space could perhaps entail me to have myself surrounded with pressure and verbal infliction which would perchance make me a serious warrior! At least for the time being, I will refrain.

That all, I guess, should be enough to show what I had written could not be explained here taken that it can end up forcing serious implications on some good number of people including me. It could make any reader tell that I was trying to desecrate a person. An objective of mine that surely was. Two of my friends, from whom I took intellectual help, insisted that I keep the 15 paragraphs to myself.

Tomorrow my mother is leaving for Warangal for an official inspection of the District Co-operative Central bank of that district. Her presence there is imperative for the procedures to take place and so, she will spend three days on it. Our servant maid has not turned up for three days now and if she continues the absence, I will be compelled to take care of the cleaning of the house and the kitchen work. I am looking ahead to the experience.

After taking four tests on philosophy and management topics as reading-comprehension passages, I confirmed my reading speed to be around 330 words per minute with a satisfactory comprehension. With no immediate contempt towards my reading ability, I understand that I need to move myself to an invariable speed of 450+ words per minute. The satisfaction I could then obtain would be more profound. I shall do it when Allah wills.

I talk big. I dream big. I write big. I am of a belief that a person need not already be practicing an act to preach it. Because if that becomes an aphorism, all talkof goodness will cease to exist. Provided that no person can be perfect, no person should be prevented from talking about perfection. If we are not allowed to tell others what is good if we happen not to be ardent practitioners of that good, then it is a pity that the good will be buried under the severity of the absurdness.

Allah knows the faith in me; and the intensity of that faith. Any person who has a view of my behavior from far can never talk about my faith; neither can I when I myself am not in a state to give a judgement of me. If I take the shadow of my religion to commit sin, then I am the one to suffer. If a person critiques me of having done such an act, then that person be damned for she has no knowledge of herself and her faith; let alone of me. Of all blessed by Allah I know, I am the most blessed.

A mistake committed by a friend of mine with no intention of doing it, but in fact with a consideration of possible pain to me, has caused an embarrassment to me which I shall never forget all my life. The embarrassment will keep reminding me of itself should I ever tend to forget it as a practice of enforced will which in principle should be implemented. I appreciated the content I spilled using the keyboard yesterday after having read it for I wanted to remind myself of the factual emotions I had mustered. How much I wish to have it published here and read. It would be called profanation. Wouldn't that be a sight?