comfort in the truth?

I had a friend here at home today till around 9:30 pm. He came in the afternoon after attending an off-campus placement program where he waited for the test till late afternoon and left when it was getting unbearable for him to wait. We spent a lot of time on the computer testing some new softwares. We even spent some time on talking about the companies coming to colleges for recruitments. That's what everybody is talking of now days.

We have Accenture coming to our college on 25th, the coming Saturday. As of yet I have no motivation to attend. I might be having a good chance of getting selected there and maybe if I am confident I will definitely get through but I am falling short of reasons to try. I am already there in Infosys which was a part of failing my objective. I just went there for my mother and just to have something in my hands. That has already derailed me and I am trying hard to come back.

I am doing fine these days, having good sleep and enjoying. If by any chance I end up not getting selected, it would hurt me a lot. I also don't believe in the notion that participation is important. I believe that winning is not an option but the only thing. I don't want to play cards when I risk losing my happiness. It would rather be gambling. Initially I did think of going full-throttle for Accenture, but some wisdom has brought me down.

I was home all day today and wasted a lot of time. Everyday I waste time, I spend the evening in heavy guilt and pathos. I know there are so many productive things I could have done, but it just chits me out that I couldn't make use of the time. I did spend a lot of time thinking today, but I need to look for something that has material.

I did a thorough check of all the background process running on my computer. I found so many that were safe but useless - eating away a lot of memory. I learned how intelligent softwares are and how they could use our computer for their owner's benefit. I find getting into the technical details pointless here. For me the only point is that my computer is safe and still unaffected.

Yesterday I reached home after 8 pm after attending a friend's birthday party at KFC. It was the traffic that caused me to reach home late. I was so tired I slept on the carpet in the drawing room. I was talking to my father sitting there when I felt like snoozing off. I woke up only for dinner after 10 pm and slept again after 2 am.

I know I write a little too much about myself that anybody if interested can learn me and use my blog for exploiting me. I knew this as a possibility since long but a few days back a friend made me realize that again. Perhaps I can continue as long as I keep gaining something out of this. A loss would definitely be less in measure if I compare it to what all I am gaining from writing.