I started something a little while ago but found having problem with the browser here. There was some weired spacing happening between the words. I am using Opera for some days now. Mozilla and IE 7 too are there but IE 7 seems to have some problem with Gmail. Mozilla is fine but I liked the interface Opera has. There is some general problem with browsers on my computer. The connection is fine. Something stops me from navigating easily between tabs.
Some weeks back the talk in my house was about my relatives coming to India. Now a days its about their departure. The only times I spent with my aunt who is here from Mecca is when we met at the marriage ceremonies. I feel bad the I couldn't go to receive them. Neither am I able to meet them regularly. Until a few years back they used to stay at my house when in India. Now they live in their new flat. We don't meet unless there is some occasion.
There are hardly any reasonless family gatherings we have now a days. We all are supposedly busy. My parents are busy. The only thing that connects is the phone. Its good enough but doesn't satisfy me. I like meeting people. I like hearing my name being said. I like letting them know that I care for them. That's not happening.
Bigger things are happening. And I pray to Allah that it gives happiness to everybody. I don't want to cause to hurt anybody and at the same time, I want to have happiness in my heart. Even if I sit all my life thanking Allah, I won't be able to satisfy myself. "Thank you" is a too simple phrase. Its too small. some crying does give it substance, but greatness of Allah can't be explained. Those who don't understand this, don't understand what life is.
I don't say I understand life. But I am living it to the best I think I can. Allah has made it all perfect for me. I still can't believe I am living. Tears can't explain my gratitude for Allah. I have learned not to get overwhelmed publicly. I can Alhamdulillah control some emotions. Sometimes its nice not to hold! Allah knows best.
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