I don't know where to start from today. Since today morning I have just been thinking if I should really write all that I have been thinking for the last 24 hours. I had some serious talking with a few people and I have learnt a lot about myself and also about these people. I have always heard that it is easier to give advices than taking them. I understand it is very much true.
Among all the people who talk to me, of all those who listen to me, from every person who knows me, I find myself as the first person who needs to take advices and not only take them but also do whatever is needed. My first objective now is to fight my ego. Perhaps this is also a kind of Jihaad - fighting against myself to get myself in the right path, no matter how much it hurts.
I am usually told that I listen to people no matter what they say and I am good with everybody. I know what I have inside me. I constantly rate people with what they are saying and how their intellect would possibly be. While doing this - rating people - I found some of them to be intellectually superior to me. I have mentioned about this in one of my previous posts. So, I am ready to listen to what these people say and even take their talks seriously; enough to guide my actions.
The other people - who I consider to be intellectually inferior to me - too say a lot to me. It is just my perspective about them that I feel myself superior to them. But they may be knowing more than me and maybe perhaps wiser than me. But my perspective is deeply held within me and I have to fight it out. I have to fight my ego and listen - not only listen, but also apply things these people tell me. They can be better than me. I maybe a very bad person with a swollen ego. Maybe I am driven by lots of pride that is bad ethically and religiously.
Today I attended the 'sanchak' function of my father's cousin. My father's uncle is a renowned gastroenterologist in Hyderabad and his son is getting married to the daughter of a congress MLA who also happens to be the minister of Coal and Mining Ministry of the State Government. The marriage is on Sunday and the Valima on Tuesday. The 'Sanchak' was at Lake View Banjara function hall.
My father's elder sister and my cousin brother are here at my home. They arrived from Gulbarga today afternoon and I am glad they are here with us. My elder cousin brother will be getting engaged soon. My aunt has found a girl for her. She is in 3rd year of Medicine. Presently, I am having a great time with my cousin. But I have no explanations for the sudden silences I fall into. I can't fight a few things - I find solitude necessary for me. My cousin make me happy always and I very happy to have him here. My aunt always makes me very comfortable - she is so nice.
Today morning i cleaned all my tables and also my bed. I arranged all my clothes but still some clothes are waiting for me to wash them. I have some old books to discard. I have somethings I much get repaired. Huh!
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