Prison gates won't open up for me

The day before yesterday I took 'The Alchemist' from a friend. I started reading it that day itself but did a major part today - in the morning after fajar and in the evening just sometime back. I am on the 94th page an I hope to finish the book by tomorrow. It's not a big book like 'The Fountainhead'. It's small, precise, objective and teaches many things and inspires.

Today I left the college at 1:30 pm. In the morning I spoke to my aunt and I told her that I would be calling her around 12:30 pm. I called her after coming out of the networks lab. She asked me to come over to her house. We were supposed to go and buy tickets. She is leaving for Mecca shortly. When I reached her house she told me that she has already confirmed the reservation on phone and it would be fine if we go to the office some other day and pay the money to have the tickets in hand.

She will be encashing (is this word right? I couldn't find it on google; but have heard many people using it!) some demand draft tomorrow and get the money. We will go to the office sometime next week.

My heart sank when I realized that I could have remained in the college and attended the class - there was no real need for me the bunk the ALC class that was supposed to start at 1:20 pm. I would have spent some time with my friends. It was all so pleasant today. I would have been there to look around to have my heart smile to itself thinking of the dreams I have and then later cherish them to the limit of saddening my soul! I slept after having my lunch. I was fine and I kept smiling all through my stay there till 6:15 pm.

In the morning I didn't sleep after fajar. I had a bucket full of clothes already soaked in detergent-water and I had to load them into the washing machine. Before that I had to give some rubbing to the collars and handcuffs of all the shirts to cleanse them from the dirt that had made me put them for washing. With the clothes in the machine, I was busy reading the novel. I even took a walk outside to buy tomatoes. I had to go the way to Tolichowki cross-road to make the purchase.

When I left home in the morning for college I was in a hurry. After sometime on the way I realized that I had forgotten to take my networks textbook with me and I recollected the lecturer's words that he won't be allowing anybody to sit in the lab if he/she is without that book. When he said that a few days back I thought to myself about the meaning of the word 'pedagogic'.

I knew the worst case in the lab would be that I will be asked to leave immediately. I also thought about the shirt and the watch I was wearing. My shirt was a bit shiny made of some synthetic material of which not everybody likes to have their shirts made. My watch was somewhat flashy - white dial, silver strap and golden linings.

I had my sleeves folded twice to give the watch a chance to appear in front of every person who took notice of me. My only purpose of folding the sleeves was to prevent them from hanging down my hands carelessly - they were a little lengthy. The size of the shirt was larger than what fits me.

All the while I was also worried that some witty person would think that I was considering the show off of that watch. I never meant that. I can't help sometimes when things show up this way by themselves. All I can do is forget of what is being shown! (Do I make sense here?)

When the lecturer came to know that I didn't bright my copy of that book, he scolded me. He asked me if I can ever forget wearing clothes. The second question was about the watch - if I can ever forget wearing a watch? I had no guts to answer. If I had, I would have asked if books were more important than clothes. I would have also said that I would have reached the college late if I had not worn the watch.

But I know he wasn't referring to clothes and watches in general. He was referring to those particular clothes and that particular watch I was wearing. They seemed ornate. Perhaps. He wears a 'sherwaani' to the college almost daily. Need I write directly that I felt insulted when he said that? No, I didn't feel insulted. I smiled at myself as I had expected this and also something much bad.

Things were too calm in the house. The silence was of the kind I don't like. Though everything seemed alright, it was trying not to be so. I am hanging on to the memories of all the pleasant past and also to the hopes of a clear tomorrow. We understand present better only when it becomes history.