I don't want to be envied, I wan't to be loved

Just wokeup at 4:30 am today, had the early breakfast - sehri, and switched on the computer. I thought of just checking a few things, updating the blog, then perform my prayers and sleep. But I saw something that got me really angry. I really don't know when it was the last time that I got angry this way. I performed my prayers and since then I am trying to think if there is something that would set things right.

There is (was) a guy in orkut who was in my friends' list. He is supposed to be some friend's friend. Everytime we met, he was good to me and I was good to him. But yesterday he reacted to a scrap written by a friend of mine in my scrap book. I don't want to get into whose mistake it was, but what this #@&%) guy did after that was and continues to be intolerable. He created a fake profile and is trying to hurt my friend.

I wish I knew the right thing to do now. I even feel like going and banging him. But thats not the right way I suppose. I will wait to hear what my other friends have to say. ... damn hell! what a bad person I had as a friend. And what a wrong way to know what he is. I hope to forget all this but I know its going to be here for long.

I have prioritised all people I have with me. At no moment of time will I have any problem in selecting whom to support and whom to fight against. I have done this after a lot of thinking and even if in some way I am wrong, I am not going to mind. I am ready to face all consequences. And again I take all responsibility of everything that happens within me and around me.

Hardly a day passes by when I don't ask Allah to make me a good person. I beg Him for goodness in me. I ask Him to make me a person who would never do anything wrong, never hurt anybody, never say anything bad ... a person who is liked and loved by eveybody. I really don't care if I am the richest or poorest of all the people in this world, but if I am not good, I know I am the wrost and i can never forgive myself.

I will become a good person not by just avoiding bad things. I need to do good things to become good. And I ask Allah that He helps me, and makes me, do good things.

I don't want to be envied, I wan't to be loved. I don't want to envy anybody, I want to love everybody. But when anybody does anything wrong, hurts me or any of my friends, I can't tolerate that. I am usually quiet ... usually taken as calm. I don't like telling people thing like 'you have never seen my anger' or 'you don't know who I am and what I can do'. Even I don't know things like these but I know one thing - Allah is with me and with all people who are dear to me. I am forget some personw ho troubles me, my friends my forgive a person who troubles them, but I can't guarantee that Allah will forgive. He is just and He takes into account every deed done by a person.

I simply can't understand how people can even think of hurting or causing trouble to anybody. How can they ever forget that Allah is watching them? I like learning things from everything I see and experience but this time its not affordable. I can't hold my and my friend's respect at stake.