Hello!

Since Saturday my friends and I have started spending some time talking about religion in the college after college hours. Till now one of us has spoken (given that sermon kind of thing) but inshAllah others will follow. Its something very nice we are doing and I hope we al get to learn a lot from this. But till now not all of our friends could join. One of us is not well and isn't coming to the college. InshAllah he will be fine.

Now I feel perfectly fine except that in the mornings during Sehri I am not able to eat the way I was doing previously, before falling ill. Even in the evening I begin feel done with the eating with just a few things. The more I get desperate in increasing my weight, the more difficult it is getting for me to eat properly.

Now a days I don't seem to find any topis to write on. Even for this blog, I don't know what exactly to write. There are few things I am avoiding and they take all the weight away. Except the news paper and somethings form books here and there I am not able to read anyting due to less time. Even when I have time it is getting wasted in sleeping! And because I am not reading much, I am not thinking much and I am not able to write much.

A few days back I read at a place about how to get some new ideas while writing essays. it was for people who write essays and get stuck up in the middle of the paragraphs. The idea given was to open any pare of the dictionary and read some words - they fire imagination. But I found myself doing it already. So many times I open the dictionary for so many reasons. I open it when I feel bored, when I feel like reading and find nothing interesting, when I am writing and suddenly forget what to write. Sometimes I simply open it, get a few words, known and unknown, and frame some sentence using them. It always helps me ... wiht manythings.

So after reading this thing, I felt glad that I was already on the right track, even with nobody letting me know what the right path was. So many times with so manythings I have felt this way but as long as I am never made to feel that I am doing something wrong, I dont think I can ever call myself satisfied. I need to know that I am wrong with something. And sometimes when I am made to know that, I often dislike the way taken. And later I realise it ... that I was wrong and also that I was being a kind of cynic. So this itself is beyong explanation to me. I need to know that I am wrong when I am wrong, not after being wrong! ...

The above 2 paragraphs is what that happens when I reduce thinking and reading - I am not able to explain clearly what I am trying to!