5% of brains are used. Hearts: even less than that!

Today is October 14th. Today, the same day, last year, I had shown the letter I had written on October 13th, 2005 to 2 of my friends. One of them called me late in the night and asked 'why did you do this?' The other one had said 'I was thinking you as an ordinary person'. 2 days later I shared the letter with another friend. The first 2 friends forwarded the letter to another friend. January 10th took the letter to the person because of whom it was written! Cool, I remember all the dates. The letter was discussed on 16th of February 2006!!!

So what? What did I gain from all this? Nothing? Everything? It still remains a mystery.

It has been said that humans hardly use 5% of their brains and Einstein used 10% of it. But some people don't use even that percentage of their heart. For reasons known to themselves - for reasons they don't want to talk about. They are numb, they don't care for others; they take things easily; they have decided that they will never think about it. They have decided not to use their heart. I wish I never had to care for it, but it makes a difference to me. Unfortunately!

Today I went to CL. I was among the 6 people present. I had my Iftaar at a hotel near by before going for the class. I had tea and osmania biscuit. This was the first time I sat in such kind of a hotel and at anything - alone. I did feel alone sitting there. Whenever I had been to such hotel, I had my father with me. He wasn't there with me today. 15 days back I sat in a bakery and has some spring rolls. I was alone even there but it was a bakery and not a road-side tea hotel.

I was left early so I reached home at 8:50 pm. My friend from my college too didn't come for the class so I came by bus. After coming home I prayed Ishaan and also the prayers I missed today. I hope Allah accepts them.

During the day time I slept a lot. I studied for some time too but it was nothing substantial. I woke up at 11 am after sleeping at 6:30 am after Fajar. I thought a lot about some things today. All useless and waste of time. But I am fine, I am not feeling bad - just unfortunate. I am not complaining it; I don't regret anything. I am thankful to Allah for what I am - even if what I am is not what I should be. I have my whole future ahead of me and I can do anything with it. I have nobody who would ask me. I have no responsibility. I can live my own life and live for that that matter to me. I will select the things that should matter to me. I will live for my parents and my dreams. I won't live for people who don't have anything for me. It's a different thing that I may not forget them.

I don't think I would be going to CL tomorrow. Already the ones present today were saying that they won't come.

I was thinking about when it was the last time that I had a chat with anybody on yahoo messenger. I think it was yesterday and then 3 days back. Yesterday it was with a friend and only for a few minutes. Now it seems as if several weeks have passed since I spoke to anybody. It happens sometimes - simply. Then things become fine - by themselves. There are days when all I do is chat.