Lesson Learnt by Being Deprived

Yesterday's midnight saw me left deprived of a statement that gives me the satisfaction I demand every day before going to bed. It was the last day of my internet connection's account and unlike every month it didn't get renewed by itself. For the first time after taking this connection I faced a problem of this kind and I was unhappy switching of my computer due to a problem. I had never seen any problem with the connection in the last 6 months. I telephoned the provider's office 4 times today and they finally restored it in the evening at 9 pm. And the package they have given me now, according to them, is temporary. It is some damned 'download limit' package but promises a higher speed. Glad to know its temporary - I don't want any limits on my usage, and my usage hasn't got anything to do with a vey high speed.

So I spent my time on The Fountainhead. I spent more than 3 hours on it but read less than 45 pages. There were so many instances that asked for rereading. I obeyed to these instances. But while being engrossed into this book, at one ocasion of time, I obstinately felt a sort of uneasyness for not being online. I didn't like myself feeling that. I kept it untill I felt good again after sometime. Felt good for not continuing with a senseless anger.

I had planned to write an article for News and Opinions but it required some study on a recent history and that was possible only through the web. And this was not available to me. I wanted to complete an unfinished letter. Didn't even do that - week commitment to it might have been the reason. Wanted to write on one of the topics I have listed on Flowing Emotions. Laziness prevented me from writing. Wanted to get ahead with a long pending exercise of writing on some people. But that required thinking and I was too week for that today. (This is the self-guided thinking I am refering to; it requires a lot of effort and gives me a lot of strength - all that is required here is motivation. I understand many other things implicitly. Some things come from nowhere - I mean, without any intention to find them.)

I will be writing on Operation Desertstorm on News and Opinions.